Title: Now I Can Think Myself to Mars: A Son’s Final Goodbye, A Mother’s Journal of Renewal
Author: Grace Hournbuckle Walker
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 978-1491794128
Pages: 138
Genre: Poetry
Reviewed by: C. C. Thomas
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Pacific Book Review
Sometimes you read a book and you know you’re holding something different in your hands. This book isn’t one to be read quickly or taken lightly. It is the kind of story that will stay with you long after you’ve read the last page; it’s a special book that you will think of often in the days to come. It’s a unique type of book that causes you to measure your own life and experiences thus causing a change in how you look at the world. In this book, author Grace Hournbuckle Walker takes words on a page and causes them to become three dimensional, turning those black scratch marks into a virtual arrows that will pierce your heart with every page.
Walker’s book is the very model of bibliotherapy; both for the writer and for the reader. Walker wrote Now I Can Think Myself to Mars after her young son died of a freak medical occurrence. This book was the pathway for Walker through her grieving, revealing the healing process subliminally on every page. For those who have suffered such a loss, or any epic loss, reading this story will both torment and soothe. It is though, a healthy process of finding solid emotional footing after enduring a tragedy.
The narrative is actually a mixture of letters to Walker’s son Nathan after his death and poems using Nathan’s own words and other memories from a mother about her silly and warm-hearted child. The poems are organized around the last few days Walker had with her son, who showed no real signs of the impending medical crisis that would end his life. While he had some health problems, if you didn’t know how the story was going to end, you would be shocked at the suddenness of it. I think setting up the story in this way led a poignancy of the actual accounts and made every word so very important. Other poems focus on the small moments of a brief life, made even more important due to the brevity.
Throughout the story, Walker leans heavily upon her Christian faith. Each letter and poem focuses on how Walker used scripture to overcome dark moments to find her inner strength and sustenance. Most amazing though, is the peace that seems to flow through Walker’s words as she wrote about her faith. It sometimes seems as if she is just catching him up on stuff before they meet again in the hereafter.
Walker’s book is not one to be read easily or plowed through quickly. It’s a story that will pull apart your soul, but then will also show how to put it back together again. For anyone who has undergone such a tragedy, it’s also a textbook of how writing can help to overcome our deepest sorrows and pain. I would recommend that this book be given as a gift to those going through similar situations as well as a book that can be referred to again and again. Now I Can Think Myself to Mars: A Son’s Final Goodbye, A Mother’s Journal of Renewal can help you endure your own life heartaches.
While no one would wish for this occurrence on anyone, readers can take some comfort in knowing the life of Nathan Walker will enrich your soul. Consider this book a gift from him for having noticed the smaller things in life and for becoming the messenger for others to enjoy a richer life.
