Title: Smell the Raindrops: One young woman’s journey through life, love and recovery
Author: BA Austin
Publisher: Crescendo Press
ISBN: 978-0-9895047-3-7
Pages: 200
Genre: Memoir
Interview by: Ella Vincent
Pacific Book Review Star
Awarded to Books of Excellent Merit
Author interview with BA Austin
Today we are talking to BA Austin, author of “Smell the Raindrops: One young woman’s journey through life, love and recovery.”
PBR: Your African -American Nanny, Karine was obviously a great influence on your inclusionary world view during the Civil Rights Movement. How have you helped causes that act to promote racial harmony?
Karine ingrained so many important values that have remained with me to this day and never discriminating against anyone regardless of their race was at the very top of these values.
One of ‘my proudest moments occurred back in 1972 when I was editor in chief of my high school year book during my senior year. My all white girls preparatory school always dedicated the yearbook to an individual who had served and taught at the school. My co-editor and I decided to take a very bold step for that time and place and dedicate our book to Alex who was the school custodian, and Clara, who served food in the cafeteria. What distinguished them from the many others who were honored at our school in previous years was that both Alex and Clara were Black. This was the first time in school history that African Americans had been recognized in this matter.
At our awards ceremony in front of a packed gymnasium, we announced these 2 individuals as the people we were dedicating our yearbook to. We then held our collective breaths, waiting for the reaction from the audience. The reaction was that Alex and Clara were given a standing ovation from the white audience. I will never forget the reaction from Karine, who along with my mom was standing and clapping enthusiastically and crying as well. Pretty soon, tears were also streaming down my face.
In 2003, during our school’s centennial celebration, our 1972 dedication to Alex and Clara was mentioned as one of the memorable moments in our schools history. That always resonated with me and I always felt a great deal of pride in the hope that in a small way I had contributed to some changing attitudes in race relations in my immediate environment.
PBR: You wrote openly and honestly about “funny breath”– the history of alcoholism in your family. What advice would you give to other people who are suffering from this disease?
Alcoholism is an insidious disease, ready to strike any person regardless of race, gender, fame, or wealth. It destroys lives and it destroys families. Anyone who is an alcoholic needs to understand that what they have is an ILLNESS. No one chooses to be an alcoholic. Regardless of what anyone says or thinks, an alcoholic is still a person of worth and you can never give up on yourself. Everyone of us has their own demons and we all have the inner strength to overcome these demons. When going through the depths of alcoholism you may feel broken in spirit, but you also must truly believe that you can recover and that you can have a life that is very much worth living. You also need to know that there are people that are more than willing to help. Do not be embarrassed or afraid to reach out for that help. You need to embrace what people will do for you. SO PLEASE ASK FOR HELP!
PBR: While Your memoir is very serious, there are also light moments about watching TV with your family. What are your fondest memories about growing up in the South?
My fondest memories center around Karine. She was not just my nanny, she was the person who had the most influence in my life growing up and her values, joy, sweetness, and caring remain with me to this day. She was the one person who gave me “Unconditional Love”.
I spent so many memorable times with her—to simple things like watching the Beverly Hillbillies each afternoon, to going to the Memphis Zoo, to going into downtown Memphis, to accompanying her to the all black church that she attended in Mississippi and to going fishing with her after church was completed. I was the outsider at church, and even as a young child I knew it. When I was sick and home from school, there was Karine, always ready with chocolate milkshakes and chicken soup, doing whatever needed to be done to take care of me. No matter what we were doing, Karine was always teaching me about life and life lessons. I felt that it was a badge of honor to sit in the back of the bus that was forced on Karine because of the color of her skin. While many of the white ladies would stare at me, I would just stare back at them, knowing their hatred of this “colored” woman was misplaced and that I was the lucky one because of who I was with.
She treated me like a princess and I thought she was my angel. Those are my greatest memories.
Another fond memory is my friend, Susie, who I lost to ovarian cancer last year. We knew each other since toddlers—grew up doing everything together, from playing piano duets together, competing in spelling bees, five years of camp, six weeks in Europe on a high school field trip. Losing her was the hardest thing I have gone through, though I have lost many family and friends at young ages.
Another memory was playing Tarzan with my brother—swinging on the vines across the stream on our property—he and I were like twins. I followed him with whatever he did, as being editor-in-chief of my yearbook to going to the same college.
I loved spending time alone in our woods picking tulips and daffodils—I guess you would say I was a loner in many ways.
PBR: Who were your favorite authors and who inspired you as a writer?
My favorite authors are Harper Lee who wrote “To Kill a Mockingbird” and Ernest Hemingway who, among many other writings, was the author of “A Moveable Feast”.
To Kill a Mockingbird was such an amazing story of a black man wrongfully accused of raping a white woman in the south and that story, taught me even more about the evils of discrimination then I had already learned, not only from Karine, but from my parents as well.
I was so moved by Ernest Hemingway and his book, “A Moveable Feast”, that I made it a point in 2010 to sit in the same café in Paris where he sat and spent so much time writing this great book. It grieved me to know such a brilliant man committed suicide. As I said, we all have our demons.
Both authors have great passion in their writings and I have tried to do the same in my memoir.
PBR: What Do You Want Readers To Get From This Memoir?
I would like my readers to understand that any person may not be as he or she appears on the surface or how he or she appears to the outside world. On the surface, I had everything. I was a girl of privilege and wealth who went to the finest schools, wore the most expensive clothes, went on wonderful family vacations, and lived in a 10,000 square foot home in the most exclusive part of Memphis. I had it all—or so it appeared.
But deep inside of me I had a terrible insecurity and sense of worthlessness that I had to deal with. The standards that I was expected to live up to as a so called Southern Belle were impossible for me to reach. I was never considered pretty enough or smart enough and the failures in my own mind outweighed any successes that I had. My unhappiness with myself as well as family DNA led me eventually to a 7 year battle with alcohol, culminating in my 30 day stay at the Betty Ford Center in 1997. I had hit rock bottom thinking there was nowhere to go.
But I did have somewhere to go. Deep inside of me I found an inner strength that allowed me to take a strong look at myself and my life that allowed me to decide that I was a person who had value, and that I was going to recover, and that I was going to live a life that would be filled with happiness and filled with love.
Now, some 21 years after looking into the abyss I can say that although it has not been perfect, I have been able to live a meaningful life. My hope is that each reader will understand that they too can overcome any obstacles that they are faced with and can live the life that they were meant to live. That is the true message of this memoir.
PBR: Do You Plan On Writing More Books?
Yes. I am currently working on a book which focuses on artwork beginning in the Renaissance era and up through the 20th century.
I am selecting paintings from these different eras, giving my thoughts on what each piece is saying about the human condition, and how each piece has affected my life in a spiritual way.
