Title: If I Die Before I Wake: A Caregiver’s Journey
Author: Eli Shaw
Publisher: Westwood Books
ISBN: 978-1-64361-627-8
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 368
Reviewed by: Ella Vincent

Read Book Review

If I Die Before I Wake is a moving and insightful memoir about the joys and trials of being a caregiver. Eli Shaw has written an autobiography that will enlighten readers. If I Die Before I Wake is the story of Shaw being a caregiver for his friend Mark. Mark lived as an HIV-positive man in the 1980’s when there was such a stigma against people living with HIV and AIDS. While caring for Mark, Shaw learns about having empathy for people who are shunned by society, being patient with others, and overcoming obstacles in life. Throughout the years of being a caregiver for Mark and other people, Shaw learns valuable lessons about life, loss, and love.

Shaw’s writing is so relatable and effortless that readers will instantly connect with If I Die Before I Wake. He writes about the conflicting emotions of caring for people who can’t care for themselves. He details the exhausting toll of caring for people and watching them physically deteriorate. He also shows the positive sides of caregiving, like listening to people who feel neglected and the joy of being ins service to others. Even through the tragedies he experienced in his life, Shaw remarkably has a healthy outlook on life and even finds time for much-needed self-care. Even though he cared for people, he was still able to travel and discover self-fulfillment.

The book is enhanced by Shaw’s personal anecdotes, poetry he wrote, and the poetry of other people given to him. His poetry encompasses the need to defend vulnerable people who are unable to defend themselves. “ I would stand up to any injustice I see/ If I say nothing/ My actions they would see. “ Shaw also shares poetry from people living with HIV to showcase how they are coping with the condition.

If I Die Before I Wake would be best for the millions of people who are caregivers to elderly parents, ill friends, or people with special needs. Many caregivers feel overwhelmed and isolated. The text shows that there is a community of caregivers and they are not alone. The memoir would also be ideal for readers who are living with debilitating illnesses that are being cared for to see how their caregivers live. If I Die Before I Wake can be given to caregivers or their patients as gifts to help them cope with the process. Shaw has written a book that will show readers how precious life is.