Title: Innovative Parenting
Subtitle: Simple Tips for Raising Awesome Kids
Author: Judi Holdeman
Publisher: Westwood Books Publishing, LLC
Pages: 60
ISBN: 978-1-64361-027-6
Genre: Parenting, Psychology
Interviewed by: Beth Adams
Author Interview with Judi Holdeman
Today we are talking with Judi Holdeman author of “Innovative Parenting: Simple Tips for Raising Awesome Kids”
PBR: In your book, did you only deal with the issues you learned from the parenting class, that is prior to your fourth child, or did you also use tips from your prior experiences when raising your first three children?
Actually, when I was so young with three children, my husband made me go to work and I can hardly remember spending much time with them. I did get one tip from my daughter which I mention in my book about kissing her when she got hurt. It is definitely okay to hug and kiss a child when they get hurt. Most of the tips I wrote about are things I learned in the parenting class. There were a few other tips I gleaned from reading several parenting books when my youngest son was tiny and engaging in conversation with other parents in the parenting class.
PBR: Even if some of the parents do not use the suggestive tips outlined in the book, many kids often will still grow up well balanced and successful. What are your thoughts on this statement?
That is so true. There are many successful kids who were fortunate enough to be raised by loving and respectful parents themselves or somehow or another were able to rise above their own upbringing. However, I wrote “Innovative Parenting” to assist parents who may not know what to do and would like some easy tips to be more positive parents to their children than theirs were to them. All I know is that, at age 40, I had to acknowledge to myself that I wanted and needed to learn about how to nurture and be a good parent to my child; that I sure did not know much about it at age 23.
PBR: What would you say you “did wrong” or “could have done better” with respect to raising your first three children?
Number one is that I would not have let my husband make me go to work; I would have insisted on staying at home and being with my children. As it was, I had no time for them. I was certainly not a nurturing parent to them. I had never heard the word “positive” and was rather negative about most things – no praise, spanking them, yelling at them, no idea how to make them mind in a positive way, no time to share their lives with them. You name it and I probably did it wrong. Sort of like I was raised, if you know what I mean. In my own defense, I will say that I baked a birthday cake and had a party for each one on their birthdays and we always had a fun Christmas. Again, that was also how it was when I was a kid.
PBR: What were some of the most challenging aspects of writing this book?
You may not believe this and yet I must tell it true. I had no challenges when writing this book for the simple reason that I wrote it in my head for thirty years. The person teaching the parenting class I attended said that many people would perhaps give negative feedback about raising a kid this way and to do what she taught anyway. I did as she said and told myself that, if he turned out to be a happy and well-adjusted person (which he is), I would write a book. As I followed these tips, I continued to make mental notes. When I retired and had time to write this book, the words flowed like a dream come true.
PBR: If you had the opportunity to change some part of your past when it comes to parenting, what would you change and how?
I cannot think of any way I would change the way I raised my youngest son. I made the many changes necessary to have positive parenting skills as I grew up myself and by the time I had my last child. The most important change I made over those years was to acknowledge that I did not know how to parent in a nurturing way. This was a case of when we tell the truth, the truth will set us free. In telling the truth about my being a not very good parent to my first three, I was set free to learn how to be a good parent when I was 40.
PBR: Are there things you wish now you would have included in the book which weren’t included?
I cannot think of any. As I said, I wrote this book in my head for thirty years and covered all the bases over and over again.
PBR: Are you in the process of writing other books?
I once heard that everyone has at least one book in themselves to write. For me, this one is the only one. My goal in writing this one is to save the world one child at a time.
