Title: Boys’ Secrets and Men’s Loves: A Memoir
Author: David A. J. Richards
Publisher: XlibrisUS
ISBN: 1796037273
Genre: Memoir
Pages: 410
Reviewed by: Aaron Washington
Pacific Book Review
David A. J. Richards is one of the few authors who perfectly puts the many unpleasant realities in the world into comprehensible words. Reading through Boy’s Secrets and Men’s Loves will open your eyes to so many issues which affect humanity. The author not only uses events from the recent past to put his points across, but also includes experiences from his personal life when expounding on critical subjects. By writing this book, David A. J. Richards’ main mission was to highlight the ills of the society that relate to patriarchy, inequality among minorities, democracy and the effects of toxic masculinity. The author was successful in his goal as the topics discussed in the book are informing and can make good conversation starters for anyone open-minded.
We can see how the effort the author put in to dismantle old-fashioned patriarchal systems and the toxicities they promote. Reading this book was both a refreshing and eye-opening experience. Manhood and maturity are important for every boy who is growing up. Boys mature to be men not only by aging but also by experiencing the strength that chivalry presents. Young boys soon discover the power patriarchy holds in society and start learning the system. Patriarchy is adored in many communities. It can, however, be lethal for many. Boys that follow the traditional patriarchal practices believe that males need to always show strength and authority in whatever way they can.
Boys are taught that to be masculine, you need to drop some habits that are considered feminine. This makes men disguise who they are from society. In his book, David A.J. Richards urges men to live their truths. He talks about freedom and the joy that comes from living openly. The author covered numerous topics but there are few which deeply spoke to me. Love is one of the many subjects I enjoyed reading about in the book. The author preaches about loving everyone equally. Boy, girl, black, white, straight, gay, etc. David A. J. Richards tells real-life stories that show how love conquers all. He also writes about homophobia in America, and the damage it causes. It was interesting to read how patriarchy enforces homophobia. Not many can see this as society is wired to view toxic patriarchy as normal even in situations that are harmful to people.
Readers will only see how dangerous patriarchy is after reading the author’s discussion on how men who act as women get to be shamed or controlled by the traditional masculine men. Women get humiliated too for going against rules that uphold patriarchy. I believe everyone must read the book as it is by reading it that you will understand how twisted some things in the society are. Every chapter in the book is thought-provoking.
I loved reading Boy’s secret and Men’s Loves as the author did not sugar coat any subject he was discussing. I appreciate David A. J. Richards’ life story and writing style, as it is through the facts he laid that society gets to improve on areas he mentioned.
