Title: Just One More Song – Conversations with My Wife After Her Death
Author: Herbert Appleman
Publisher: XlibrisUS
ISBN: 9781796015447
Genre: Biography
Pages: 128
Reviewed by: Barbara Bamberger Scott

Read Book Review

A widower finds inroads to solace and creativity by conversing with his deceased wife, in this poignant tribute to a loving relationship of forty-six years. After his wife Dee passed away from cancer, author/playwright Appleman didn’t know how he would face life without her. At first, he couldn’t sleep, but after about a month he remembered a scene from the movie Sleepless in Seattle, and tried to imagine Dee sitting with him. Then the internal, but very significant, conversations began.

In their first “talk” they joked and comforted one another; she tells him, “I’ve only been dead a month. It takes time for the scab to form.” Afterwards he fell asleep and from that point begins to look forward to their conversations, which seem as natural as though Dee were still with him. She encourages him in his career, recalls their love-making, and even encourages his attempts, after a suitable interval, to find a new partner. Combining Dee’s memories and his own, Appleman recalls their courtship, marriage, and the many ways they showed their love for one another, with episodes both romantic and amusing including an anniversary at the Waldorf Astoria where they’d spent a part of their honeymoon.

Appleman travels to London, a place the couple had visited often. There he decides to dedicate a plaque to Dee in Berkeley Square where they had often strolled together. Another plaque back home at Westport on a bench by the sea commemorates Dee’s love of water and their many sailing trips. The two often talked about favorite songs, among them Autumn Leaves, which Dee liked to hear her husband sing as fall was approaching. Appleman records their shared analysis of its hauntingly lovely lyrics.

Appleman has written previously and to good effect about dealing with the loss of a spouse, in his documentary And Suddenly You’re Alone, which examines the lives of widows. Writing here about his very personal feelings and the steps that he took, at times haltingly, to deal with loneliness, must have been quite different and especially painful. But relying on his skilled craftsmanship, he offers many moments of uplifting hope, humor and indeed, practicality that all of us need to learn from, such as his decision finally to dispose of Dee’s belongings – selling some, gifting some – until her closets were empty. There is also an account of a conversation that took place before her death, in which Dee insists that Herb needs to manage certain details such as her cremation, the disposal of her ashes, and donations to the organization she worked for and where she was so valued and respected. She died shortly after that talk, a talk that all loving couples should have at some point, no matter what their current circumstances.

Those who read Just One More Song may be Dee’s friends and family, co-workers and others connected to her and Herb, but they might also be people unconnected with this dynamic couple but equally concerned with the issues gently and importantly raised. Appleman’s conversations with Dee were clearly a great boost to him as he processed his grief, and could serve as an inspiration to others.