Title: Preparing for Marriage, A Paradigm Shift: A book for young people before dating, courtship, and engagement
Author: Kunle and Wumi Ajayi
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 978-1-5462-9550-1
Pages: 126
Genre: Marriage & Relationships
Reviewed by: Allison Walker
Pacific Book Review
No space of preparation is neglected perhaps so much as marriage. Students spend years working to get into a good college and have a career, parents read books and attend birthing classes before having a child, yet marriage can happen in one drunken night at a Las Vegas chapel. Oftentimes, the wedding receives more intensive planning than the lifetime union which happens after. Authors Kunle and Wumi Ajayi intends to change all that. Their book, Preparing for Marriage, A Paradigm Shift: A book for young people before dating, courtship, and engagement, helps young Christians prepare for a marriage that is built to last.
Having attended workshops prior to their own marriage, and now teaching many of those workshops, Kunle and Wumi Ajayi are a power couple who teach from example. Their book offers practical advice and prompts readers to perform the same delicate planning. “No matter how beautiful a structure is, if built on a faulty foundation, it is a disaster waiting to happen,” Wumi Ajayi advises. Preparing for Marriage gives generalized advice for building a solid foundation to your marriage, or being a good role model to help your own children prepare for marriage. The Ajayi’s warn their readers to not only decide what you want from a partner, and what deal breakers you cannot live with, but to also take an objective look at what you yourself can offer the marriage. At the same time however, the authors are careful not to lead their readers down a certain path, recognizing that the values which made their marriage succeed, could make others crumple to the ground. Instead of telling people what to look for in a spouse, the Ajayi’s encourage readers to write about what they personally hope for; for example, what role should faith play in the marriage, what physical and spiritual qualities are you looking for in a spouse, what expectations you have for sex in your marriage.
Although the authors open the door to creating conversation and setting goals, their book does set certain expectations for young couples. For example, the Ajayi’s advice readers to consider how involved they would like grandparents to be in their children’s lives, circumventing the question of whether a person even wants to be a father or mother. As authors, the Ajayi’s are never demanding or demeaning; however, in an increasingly versatile world, where younger generations are starting to question the cookie cutter standard, Preparing for Marriage already feels somewhat obsolete. Preparing for Marriage is a comprehensive guidebook, easy to follow and thoughtprovoking to read. Keep a pen in hand as you’ll want to take notes! It’s easy to see the Ajayi’s in their position as leaders and teachers in their workshops and in their faith. They are encouraging without being overbearing, and through their written words, readers get the impression they really care about helping young people create everlasting relationships. Preparing for Marriage fills a void on our bookshelves and in our personal lives.
