Title: Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair
Author: Vicky Bedi
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1532057903
Pages: 66
Genre: Biography
Reviewed by: Dan MacIntosh

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With Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair, Vicky Bedi tells her survival story. Yes, it’s a short book that details the lives of her immediate family; but sadly, nobody remained untouched by Bedi’s mentally ill mother. Although abusive husbands/fathers may be more common, Bedi’s mom abused both her and her father, and created a family dynamic so dysfunctional, it’s nearly a miracle Bedi came out the other side with any dignity at all.

Bedi’s book ends before a brief epilogue with a description of her mother’s funeral. It’s a tragic ending. “I cried then,” she tells us, “not because she was dead but because the chance for her to realize what she had done was dead too. At the time, all I wanted was for her to realize that she was wrong in treating Dad, me, and other people so badly.” Bedi then writes the sentence which became the book’s title. “Her passing ended that whisper of hope; it became the cry of despair.” The book’s epilogue, however, concludes on a much more positive note. “In conclusion,” Bedi writes, “as I look back over my life, I am satisfied that I not only survived but succeeded. I love my friends, cousins, pets, and nature. I am an outstanding musician, artist, and seamstress, and I am a charismatic, outgoing person. My mantra growing up was “I’m still standing.” Now it is “I’m still moving forward.”

This feeling of forward motion was truly hard fought, though. Within her book, Bedi details how she learned basic life skills, like personal hygiene, from her high school teachers and friends, rather than at home. Whatever she may have been meant to be, Bedi’s mother was never meant to be a mom. She was a failure in nearly every respect in that role and treated her daughter as though she was stupid. Bedi’s father’s parents emigrated from France, and he was a successful and talented machinist. He was also abused by Bed’s mom, though, and likely felt he was stupid, as did Bedi. Bedi says she rarely witnessed her parents showing affection toward each other and probably to this day doesn’t know why they ever got married in the first place.

Thankfully, Bedi discovered at a young age that she has natural musical gifts. She can play most any instrument with a keyboard and sings well. However, being talented doesn’t always guarantee having close personal relationships. One is left with the impression Bedi has few friends. If she’s ever experienced romance of any kind, Bedi doesn’t write about it in her book. That’s just sadness upon sadness. Granted, there is no such thing as perfect parents. Parenting is hard work, even for the good parents among us. Bedi realized toward the end of her mom’s life that her mother was mentally ill. Mental illness helped explain some of her mother’s downright mean behavior toward others. However, as a child she couldn’t diagnose her mother’s illness. Her mom was the only mother she knew.

One hopes Bedi received some sort of catharsis through writing this book. She says at the book’s beginning that she hopes her story will help others that find themselves in similar situations. While that may be true, no empathetic book can ever erase the abuse caused by one’s mean-spirited mother. Whisper of Hope, Cry of Despair is well written, but it’s nevertheless a difficult book to read. The readers will find hurting as Bedi plainly details the abuse she endured growing up. One wishes this book was a work of fiction, and not a true story. For the most of us, blessed with good parents, this biography makes us thankful we never went through the same struggles as did Vicky Bedi. We, thank goodness, grew up with far more hope than despair.